She's got KNIIIVES, and she knows how to UUUse them!

Yes, I stole that, but from my own Facebook status, so it's not plagerism. ;-) Plus, it's the best way to describe today. The only hitch was, we had a resume workshop this morning, and so in a last grab for my resume, and with my cook's coat/hat/cravat, three books, binder and backpack in hand...I forgot my freakin' tool kit! I set it down and forgot to pick it up, didn't realize it until I was already in the parking lot at school. DOH! Not much happened at the resume workshop, except the brand new career services guy stated some super obvious stuff (like dress up for interviews...he actually said "Dress for Success" to which I had to stiffle a giggle) and gave us a couple worksheets with websites and phrases that people can use in their resumes. Oh, and he said "a cover letter is important." Yikes, I hope they're not paying him a lot. I could have run that workshop with no prep and my hands tied behind my back. But then, that's not my job anymore, hasn't been in many years, so I'm moving on...but a bit irritated I forgot my knives so as not to miss that. I ended up having to use house knives, which are crap, of course, in comparison to the new ones. One of the Chef Instructors walked through to do a spot inspection during class, and I apparently was all sorts of "wrong" today. First I forgot to button my jacket all the way to the top (it was so hot driving in, I left the top button undone and the collar open, which is a no-no for style points, apparently. I was also wearing rhinestone studs, which I thought were ok since they're not hoops, but the rule is NO jewelry whatsoever. Oh, and anytime we have a production day (working with food) we must have our aprons. I didn't know it was going to be a production day so soon, and didn't think we'd need aprons for awhile. I was wrong. Also, my nails were too long (they were WAY shorter than what's usually described as "sports length"), and the Chef showed me his own fingers so I could see what I need to do...and they were pretty much down to the nub. It reminded me of when I was little and used to chew my nails completely off. Nice. I cut them for the 3rd time tonight, and I'm hoping that I can get away with a sliver of white at least. My fingers feel so naked! No polish, no rings, no nail even!

So, the Chef Instructor went through each and every item in the new tool kit, along with anecdotes from both Chefs on how to use them, and "there was this one time..." kind of stories about some of the tools. Many of those stories were about how they, or someone in a kitchen somewhere, had cut themselves badly. I'm getting a little nervous at this point. They reminded us about what to do when (not if, but when) we cut ourselves, and showed us the finger cots (a.k.a. finger condoms) again. Everyone giggles, of course, then they go on to talk about making sure to keep your hands clean and sanitized, with gloves if necessary, because your hands are your best tools...and if you're using your hands to stir a giant bowl of macaroni salad, you don't want to find out you lost your bandaid...ewwwwwww!!!! Here's a great segway to the safety and sanitation portion of class.

Ever go to a restaurant and find bandaids, hair, glass in food? They're called physical contaminants. Yeah, no kidding. There is also cross contamination (when someone uses a tool for raw meats, then using the same tool for already cooked foods) chemical contaminants (using cleaning supplies too close to the food), etc. etc. We have our first quiz tomorrow, and I'm sure I'll do well, mostly because it's impossible to forget the visual references that Chef Instructor showed us. He reminds me of a science teacher I had in middle school that got REALLY excited about the gross experiments. They were all pictures from his cousin who's a health inspector in Hawaii, pretty much all of them kinda made the whole room want to wretch. Kind of like the video we saw in yesterday's class that I forgot to mention, probably because I tried to block it out...a portion of it showed another selection of what NOT to do, and included a close up of a guy putting his hand down his pants, the front not the back (not sure which is worse), then continuing to prepare the food. O.M.G. When I have my own kitchen, if I see anyone do that, it's immediate dismissal. Seriously.

Ok, to end on a high, not completely disgusting note! We were shown our first two "knife cuts" today: batonnet and julienne, which can then each be diced respectively into small and mini cubes. I did pretty good on my first tries, although obviously I'm still in the slow-and-deliberate stage of cutting carrots and potatoes. ;-) I will say it's very difficult to get things perfectly square, which is the desired effect, and the Chef Instructor said we will all need a lot of practice, and we are expected to practice at home. Also we learned that special way of cutting the food with a large knife (a special grip, no "Conan the Barbarian" grips, he said) while using your other hand as a guide, making a "claw" so that you don't also cut your fingers off. That will take some practice as well. So I guess a trip to the grocery store for bags of carrots and potatoes is in my future! I'd have taken a picture of my very first cuts, as one of the Chefs suggested for later comparisons just for fun, but I forgot my camera along with apparently everything else this morning. (Note to self: bring EVERYTHING with you, EVERY time.) Ok, signing off again, really trying to get to bed/sleep before two a.m. tonight!!!